Every Blog Needs A Dog And This Blog Has COCO!!!!!!!!

June 10, 2013

Hello there…

Danielle and I got a dog.





Her name is Coco.

Coco is turning 5 at the end of September.

Coco sleeps a lot and makes piggy noises and she really likes when you rub her big head because that’s why she has such a big head, so there’s more to rub when you’re rubbing it. Coco’s big head also feels like velvet.

Danielle and I hosted Coco on an overnight a couple of weeks ago.

My mom, who gave birth to me via C-section just about 30 years ago, volunteers at an SPCA down at the Jersey shore and she wanted to give Coco a respite from the shelter for a night and Danielle and I got attached and wanted to keep her. So we did because that’s how shit gets done in America. You see something and you’re like that’s mine now and most of the time you’re right.

So, we’ve got Coco.

Coco’s got a Martha Stewart houndstooth collar with her name on it and she’s got two dog beds and she’s kind of claimed the couch cushion all the way to the right as her own.

Danielle’s taken a million pictures of Coco and will most likely fill a terabyte external hard drive of pictures of Coco by week’s end. You will be able to view these pictures at Danielle’s already impressive instagram account … www.instagram.com/_dharv

Coco also likes rolling in the grass and rubbing her butt in the grass while she’s doing it.

Speaking of doing it…

I’m guessing at least 90% of pets have seen their owners have sex.

Honestly, I’ve never had sex in front of any pets.

There’s probably a solid percentage of “pets” that are birds that have never seen their owners do it, but then at the same time a former co-worker did used to sleep with her pet bird between her breasts and one night rolled over and killed it. And, that’s a true story. I have no idea what it means besides that everyone shouldn’t have the right to vote or make decisions that affect other people who do not sleep with a bird tucked between their boobs.

But I digress…

People fuck in front of their pets. That’s kind of weird even if it is incredibly common place.

And while you’re thinking about that…

If a picture could roar with animal-like sexual magnetism – this one would.

And if you’re wondering, the shirt says “I’m like nothing you’ve ever seen before” and it’s probably true. I’m pretty special.


Coco is here.

Danielle and I love her.



5 Responses to “Every Blog Needs A Dog And This Blog Has COCO!!!!!!!!”

  1. Kim said

    Hooray for Coco!! She looks like she’s found a great home and will own both of you for a long time!! What a beautiful girl!

  2. PWG said

    Okay, so I love her and her big noggin already. She looks like a dog-skunk with her big white head blob, and she’s got those gymnast hips that allow her to lay completely flat. I think we’re naturally predisposed to love things with big heads, like babies and Coco and Peter Dinklage.

    I’m sorry, I was MIA last week because I was at one of those dude ranch things where they give you a horse for the week and feed you constantly and your phone doesn’t work. So pretty much my ideal week. I would post a picture of my horse to compete with Coco, but I haven’t even unpacked.

    • You’re the first to think of dog-skunk. So far we’ve gotten a lot of baby cows. And my initial thought of chocolate-vanilla twist ice cream. It’s always food with me.

      • PWG said

        If you look at her from the right a little bit, you get a yin yangy thing too.

        Also, Jordan’s mom cracks me up. Who on earth would think they could give you two an adorable dog like that for a few days and think you were going to return it to the cold, lonely shelter, aka Dog Prison. I think she knew exactly what she was doing, and she’s just prepping you to produce grandchildren.

  3. NixHaw said

    SMOOCH THAT DOGGEEEEEEEEEY! I am in love with Coco. I wish I could snuggle her. Instead I shall go home and snuggle my doggies.

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