I Am Both Spoiled By My Girlfriend And By My Dog

June 17, 2013

Good Monday!

I had a fairly decadent weekend for my 30th birthday weekend and I really can’t and am not looking to complain about it at all.


Danielle and I ate dinner as people usually do, but we decided to take in as dessert the newest Superman reboot MAN OF STEEL. Probably tomorrow, I’ll review the actual movie of MAN OF STEEL(!), but I’ll say right now that I really liked it.

This 2.5 hour movie plus the 30 minutes we used to leave early thinking the place would be packed plus the inordinate amount of trailers played before the movie made this grand total of away time about 3 hours and 20 minutes. This would be the first 3 hours and 20 minutes that our new dog, Coco, would have ever been left alone in our house. So… the idea of who would win between Superman and General Zod for the fate of humanity was much less thrilling of a question that needed to be answer than what would Coco tear up or do to our living room when we leave her for an extended period of time for the first time.

As noted many times over, the first time my parents ever left their first dog Nikki – a West Highland white terrier who was the greatest – in their apartment many many many Moons ago in Baltimore, they came back to an entire section of their wallpaper torn from the wall.

Years later, my family’s first golden retriever Rusty – who was also the greatest – tore apart an entire sectional couch.

What would our shelter pup Coco do?

Well…. DRUM ROLL PLEASE…. nothing.


I do own a camcorder with a built-in harddrive, so I decided to set it up in the corner of the room for this momentous occasion. And when we got home, the mystery of Coco’s evening was revealed to be her SLEEPING ON THE COUCH IN ONE SPOT FOR THREE FUCKING HOURS! Actually, the same spot she’s currently occupying and sleeping on at the moment.

We watched the videotaped precedings and saw that she walked around for about 10 minutes, sat on the couch for 10 minutes looking around, and then slept for the remainder of the time until Danielle and I walked into the house.

It was a great relief and hopefully it continues that way. HOPEFULLY!


That was my berfday and as mentioned on Thursday’s post – I had no fucking clue what Danielle was going to get me. I’m still baffled by what she got me in the greatest way. It’s too much.

The present is a trip for the two of us to Las Vegas on 4th of July weekend and to go see UFC 162, which is happening that Saturday.

I’m still shocked by the whole thing and I love it, but I’m too self-deprecating to think that I deserve it. But that’s neither here nor there considering it happened and it is amazing nonetheless.

While I did not guess a trip to Vegas by any stretch of the imagination… if we did stretch the imagination… Two of my guesses are kind of right…

1. A gun

We will definitely be shooting guns at The Gun Store in Las Vegas.

10b. Something sports related that makes me feel like a homosexual

Let’s fly to Las Vegas to see grown half-naked men roll around in an eight sided cage, baby! WOOOOO!!!

Super exciting!

Honestly, I can’t wait. I feel very lucky that this is what my life is.

Besides the crazy gift, Danielle cooked us surf-n-turf of lobster tails and filets and mashed potatoes. I helped some, but she really didn’t want any help from that night. It all turned out wonderful and I was stuffed watching UFC 161 which was on Saturday night. While those fights were pretty pathetic, everything else that day was excellent, so no complaining at all.


Danielle and I had a barbecue for my parents, Danielle’s mom, my sister and her boyfriend. It was to celebrate my birthday and father’s day, but it was really for everyone to meet Coco. And Coco did great with all the people. Coco even did great with a few of the people trying to get Coco to start some bad habits that she currently doesn’t have. Not sure why that was the goal of some of these people, but who the fuck knows. I guess it’s like aunts and uncles spoiling a child that is not their own.

But… Dad… can you not try to get the dog into eating sticks! Why would I want Coco into eating sticks?! It’s a habit you try to stop a dog from having and you are for whatever reason trying to put the idea into her head like a lackluster reboot of Inception in my backyard. She doesn’t eat sticks, why would you want to get her to start?



It was an excellent weekend.

I hope you had a great weekend.


2 Responses to “I Am Both Spoiled By My Girlfriend And By My Dog”

  1. You forgot the part of your birthday where I made you go for a hike in the woods and get attacked by cicadas. SPOILED!

  2. PWG said

    I feel like I really missed the boat by not snapping up your girlfriend while she was single.

    Sure, I have a husband, sure, neither of us is a lesbian, but I think I could have worked through those obstacles with a little more effort.

    She gave me cookies and beer and Chinese food, and I just left her at a train station, unmolested.

    YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THAT, birthday boy.

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