WORLD WAR Z is going to flop, LEBRON JAMES wins again, AARON HERNANDEZ killed a guy

June 21, 2013

HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!!

So, what’s new?

WORLD WAR Z

The reviews are not as bad as I would expect and yet “Iron Man 3” got good reviews and I would imagine sitting through that would be worse than having my balls massaged by a cheese grater.

Is World War Z anything like the book? Fuck no.

I think we’ve known that for awhile. I think we’ve known that since the very first article written about the World War Z movies was published. In the first articles written about World War Z the movie, the director Marc Forster was quoted as saying this movie would be like a cross between The Bourne Identity and Pirates of the Caribbean… WTF? WTF, Marc?

A book, a famous and beloved book, about a zombie war that already has happened and is told in a series of interviews from people who experienced it years upon years earlier has been turned into a Mission Impossible style movie as Brad Pitt is cast as a character that never existed in the book who will attempt to race around the world to stop an impending zombie war from starting. So… kind of the complete opposite of the book, but still about zombies. … That’s about it.

The reviews for the movie are more favorable than not and yet what they’re favorable about is that it is a mildly entertaining run-of-the-mill zombie movie. Sweet! Another notch in the belt of zombie movies. So this movie is good because it kind of just fills a quota? GREAT! Where can I give you all my money?!

I don’t think this movie will do that well in the theaters this weekend. The trailers are pretty terrible. They don’t show zombies as much as they show a tidal wave of CGI. There isn’t a scene in the trailers where you actually get to see anyone really rasslin’ a zombie, especially Brad Pitt. The most you get out of the trailer is that you’ll see Brad Pitt with long hair, Brad Pitt as a dad, Brad Pitt married to that woman detective from “The Killing”, Brad Pitt in an army helicopter, and that tidal wave of CGI that everyone looks so sad about. Is that supposed to entice people to see this?

The title is the only real selling point WORLD WAR Z, but that selling point is really just for people who even know what World War “Z” means and the people who do know what that means are people who read the book and the people who read the book know they’re not getting the book turned into the movie as much as a completely different movie with just the book’s title. Not that “Z” is some great mystery, but if you showed that trailer to anyone who didn’t know it was previously about zombies, their first guess might not be zombies. They never mention zombies in the trailer nor do they really show zombies like I said before.

I’m expecting a flop. I’m hoping it is. I’m hoping it is because at some point Hollywood/directors/producers should be discouraged from buying licenses and then making a movie that has nothing to do with the original source material.

AND!

Brad Pitt is not the draw some might think he is. Two of the biggest draws in movie history – Tom Cruise and Will Smith – both have experience failures as of late both financially and the movies sucking big old grandpa nuts. Brad Pitt has had some enormous failures financially, which is kind of funny because two of his biggest financial flops are two of his best movies – Killing Them Softly and The Assassination of Jesse James By the Cowardly Robert Ford.

Anyway… I hope this movie flops. AND, I really hope that “The Lone Ranger” flops. There’s a good chance “The Long Ranger” will flop, but there’s also a good chance that parents will fuck that up and take their kids to see that movie. There’s a really good chance that parents will fuck up that flop.

LEBRON JAMES

I’m a fan.

I do like a lot of players on the Miami Heat – Dwyane Wade, Mike Miller, Ray Allen, Mario Chalmers, Chris Bosh has grown on me, BIRDMAN, Norris Cole, Juwan Howard… so really all of them minus Shane Battier, but you take the good with the bad – but I wouldn’t be rooting for this team specifically if it wasn’t for Lebron James.

I would have loved to seen Lebron win in Cleveland. I rooted for him then. I wish he didn’t do The Decision because it was stupid and easy to make fun of, but it happened. And, I didn’t care at all that he left Cleveland. He gave that team more than that franchise ever had before or since and he doesn’t “owe” them anything. He can move to another team that will actually have a good coach, provide a supporting cast, and such. He gave Cleveland more than half a decade to make changes and the changes they made were pathetic.

To win an NBA championship, one needs a team. Not individual talent, but a team. He has a team in Miami and he has two rings in three straight appearances in Miami.

The NBA is a star driven league, but winning a championship is a team sport. For myself, I become a fan of a player and become engrossed in his team. It happened with Michael Jordan, Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson, Shaquille O’Neal, Shawn Kemp, Allen Iverson, Chris Webber, and many others.

Without any team bias, it’s tough not to root for Lebron. I get people who are diehard _____ fans and that _____ is not Miami and them not rooting for Lebron. I get the idea that you’re rooting for that team, but at the same time as far as watching basketball for the enjoyment of watching basketball Lebron James is the greatest player to watch play this sport in the same way it was to watch Michael Jordan play, Magic Johnson play, Larry Bird play, and so on. He brings that energy to the game on both sides of the court and really is special to watch.

AARON HERNANDEZ

He totally killed that guy.

AND THAT’S WHAT’S GOING ON IN THE WORLD!

So, Danielle and I are taking Coco to the vet for the first time in a few hours. Should be fun?

We might see “This is the End” tonight.

Going to see Danielle’s niece’s dance recital on Saturday, which will be a bunch of 3 year olds in unitards jumping and waving on stage I’m guessing.

I hope you have a great weekend.

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One Response to “WORLD WAR Z is going to flop, LEBRON JAMES wins again, AARON HERNANDEZ killed a guy”

  1. I like how you talk about LeBron James, because we always talk about flops in your articles.

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