OLDBOY Keeps The HAMMER KILLS And Ditches The INCEST

July 11, 2013

BOOOOOO, SPIKE LEE!!!!!

BOOOOOO, THAT MAN!!!!!

I WANT THE INCEST!!!!!

GIVE US THE INCEST!!!!!

Hmmmm… errr… let me explain…

HOWDY FOLKS!

GIVE US THE FUCKING INCEST!!!!

In 2003, there was a movie made in South Korea called OLDBOY.

The movie was beloved by sick, twisted fucks and I count myself among them.

The general storyline of the movie is that the dude with the whacky hair is seemingly randomly abducted and held captive in a shitty hotel room for 15 years without any human contact or explanation. He’s then released back into society as more or less a changed sociopath who now wants to get revenge on whomever did that to him. He goes on a search for his captor and will kill anyone in his path on his way to fulfill his revenge and to understand why this happened.

Oh yeah… and HE FUCKS HIS DAUGHTER.

YEP!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! … I guess. I mean it’s 10 years old at this point and while it is a spoiler – it doesn’t ENTIRELY ruin the movie. I mean, it may even make you want to see the movie more than you wanted to before. Before, you probably thought it was just some movie with a lot of violence and it is, but now you know there is some daughter/father fucking in the movie that is actually very integral to the storyline and I’m guessing you’re really interested in why that’s the case. Right?!

Well, the chick in the poster is the said daughter who does have sex with her dad who is the main character in the movie. So what can you do? Same shit different day, am I right?

Anyway!

Apparently, America isn’t ready for incest. APPARENTLY.

Later this year, Spike Lee (yes, that Spike Lee) is releasing his version of OLDBOY for no apparent reason and judging from the trailer – there is no daughter fucking…

So, in the trailer, Josh Brolin sees what his daughter looks like from the TV set and Elisabeth Olsen is not that daughter. The point being… Josh Brolin is not going to fuck his daughter because he knows what his daughter looks like.

Oh right, I forgot to mention that the daughter/dad fucking in 2003’s OLDBOY is UNKNOWING daughter/dad fucking. They haven’t seen each other in 15 years and he has no idea who she is and she has no idea who he is and the two of them end up banging. So, that’s not going to happen in Spike Lee’s version. And I really don’t understand why that is.

It really makes no sense for Spike Lee’s movie to remove the incest. Truly.

2003’s OLDBOY with incest was such a big hit that several American directors were fighting over the right to remake it for America. It went through a few directors’ hands like Steven Spielberg and, eventually, landed with Spike Lee.

So, the people they’re trying to get to see the movie, in a sense, AGAIN are the people who already saw it with the incest storyline were cool with that and are apparently cool with seeing it again in a local theater in the US of A. Right?

Also, WHY would a director be so infatuated with a movie that they would want to remake it and that movie has an enormous plot arc about incest in it and then go and fight to remake it to only remove the incest storyline and have to think up a new storyline to replace that storyline? It seems idiotic.

There is one thing I’m missing… the graphic novel.

OLDBOY is originally a comic book and I have not read it. I don’t know for certain if the incest is in the comic book. So, maybe it is or maybe it isn’t, but I will tell you that the movie OLDBOY was a much bigger deal than the comic book, so no matter what Spike Lee says the reason he’s remaking this movie is because the movie was a big deal and not because he was a big fan of the comic book because that’s a load of horseshit lies. Spike Lee saw the incest, liked it, then removed it I guess to fuck with everyone else.

The 2003 movie OLDBOY is fucked up and the incest is part of the fucked up-ness, so it seems odd they’re even remaking a movie this new and it seems even odder they’re remaking it with some shot by shot remaking moments as seen in the trailer and yet taking out arguably the main storyline that ties together all this fucked up-ness.

In conclusion, I really didn’t want to see Spike Lee’s version of OLDBOY because…

– I really enjoyed the original.

– Spike is an infrequent moviemaker who even more infrequently makes a good movie.

– I don”t want to support this silly American remakes of foreign films that just fucking came out.

BUT!

There was one thing that was making me curious about the movie. YOU GUESSED IT! INCEST.

Honestly, I was really intrigued about the idea that Spike Lee (or before him, Steven Spielberg) was going to make an action movie that is based on incest and to see people’s reaction in theaters if they had no clue that there was incest in the movie. That would’ve been worth the price of admission. People discussing the movie as they walked out of the theater like, “Did he really fuck his daughter?” and someone responding, “Yes.” and then DOUCHE CHILLS!

So, I was kind of curious about that.

Now, that is not involved and I don’t want to see the movie at all.

It looks terrible. Honestly, the trailer shows the famous hallway hammer fight scene and it doesn’t look as good as the original’s and with that IT CAN’T BE AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL’s because the original’s hammer hallway fight scene was a one of its kind of scene and a remake of that is not one of its kind. The original scene was a one take gruesome fight scene that goes on for several minutes and can easily be found on youtube or the whole movie is on Netflix. It’s a wonderful scene. It’s an organic mess of violence and desperation and it’s great. The remake will be a remake and thus soulless.

Outside of that, the incest honestly was an interesting and very different storyline than you see in other action movies or movies in general. Now with that removed, it’s just some movie with Josh Brolin pretending like he’s not playing a role that was already played by a fucking phenomenal actor in Min-sik Choi.

That’s the other thing, besides it being a remake – the original actors and director are better than who they’re being remade with, so what’s the point. The original was original, more creative story, better actors, and ORIGINAL. The remake is the anti-thesis of that. At best, they get Elisabeth Olsen topless again and I’ll catch that on DailyMotion or something. Besides that, I won’t see Spike Lee’s new “joint”.

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3 Responses to “OLDBOY Keeps The HAMMER KILLS And Ditches The INCEST”

  1. Kim said

    I was out of this one when I heard Spike Lee was directing. I knew he’d ruin it. Still a big fan of the original — father/daughter fucking and all.

  2. quitbgn said

    This is a false report. You obviously didnt see the movie. The incest “is” in the spike lee version. WTF…..?

  3. Darius Bautista said

    Now I do agree with you that the original far exceed the remake, as mentioned originality, directing, editing, and basic bad assness

    if you enjoy incest thats your bussiness… But yes, instead of explaining intelligently you explained it low browed, the incest was the key to the story, cause it movie was all about revenge or a sick twisted egoist Woo-Jin take on revenge to a former schoolmate that caught him(woo jin) getting jiggy with his own sister, and because of that his beloved sister committed suicide, which then entails Woo Jin to create the perfect revenge, which also entailed incest…

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