What To Talk About? What To Talk About?!

September 16, 2013

Good day to you, my sexy superstar(s).

Well, I started my day listening to Britney Spears‘ new song “Work Bitch“.

I’m not really into this song. It probably has to do with Britney calling me “bitch” about 17 times during the 4 minute song. That’s more than 4x a minute or averaged out to every 15 seconds plus another “bitch” for good measure.

I could see chicks or guys who like that negative reinforcement when working out liking this song as Britney Spears tells them over and over “work bitch” and “work it out, bitch” and “bitch”.

I don’t really think this song will go down in the annuls of pop famedom for Ms. Spears.

ANYWAY, bitch…

I think I stopped breathing during BREAKING BAD maybe three times.


I don’t know how one even could talk about that episode in any capacity without mentioning a shit ton of spoilers. That’s all last night’s episode was. It was like an entire season of developments in 60 minutes. I’m just going to list the shit that happens and then move on… ok?





Hank is killed

Gomez is also killed

Jessie is taking hostage by the Nazis and turned into a drug making slave

The Nazis take 70 of Walter’s $80 million and leave him with the remaining $10 million

Skylar tells Flynn aka Junior about his dad

Skylar attacks Walter with a knife, Walt fights Sky, Flynn defends his mom by attacking his dad

Walt kidnaps the daughter Holly

Walt thinks better of it and returns her

Walter calls the police and implicates himself and removes all wrong-doing in their eyes of Skylar

Walter leaves with the person who gives people new identities

I shit my pants from all the excitement



So, that’s like a dozen fucking wild fucking shit crazy things that happened.

The funniest thing to happen though is that the Sunday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks aka the unfucking stoppable Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers aka the victims of a heinous ass beating took a timeout for Breaking Bad.

We were watching the game as one does being an American, but when 9pm rolled around we knew we had to flip over to AMC for Breaking Bad. With that choice made, I continued to monitor the game on my phone during commercial breaks of Breaking Bad. Turns out, no need because the game suspended play from lightning for an hour and started play right as the episode ended. Random, right?

And God bless God for that lightning too because what a fucking game!

Alexander the Great and the Roman army couldn’t best the Seahawks in a home game in Seattle. The ‘hawks are fucking on another fucking level. They’ve got a defense flying around high on adderall and an offense who simply doesn’t flinch and they’re just playing like crazed men. They absolutely ran over the 49ers last night like that team is a joke. They’re the same team that went to the Super Bowl last year and scored over 30 points last week against the Packers. Meanwhile, they show up to Seattle to simply get HUMILIATED.

Phenomenal one-sided ass kicking. Sometimes a beat down is boring, but not when it was so dynamic like last night’s. Especially from a franchise that has never played football like the way they’ve played the last two years under Pete Carroll. When he took over the job, not many believed in him. Those people should be ashamed of themselves and be forced to smell someone marathon runner’s used underwear because Carroll has turned this team into an illegally fun to watch.

As for the rest of football… Peyton Manning is still the fucking man. The Broncos’ offense is wonderful. Their defense is suspect. I mean Manning has won these games by large margins, but their defense is still giving up at least 20+ points in these games. That’s not a good thing. That could really bite them in a game.

Dolphins beat Luck.

Panthers shit the bed. Vikes shit the bed. Bucs shit the bed. Titans shit the bed. Jets shit the bed. Eagles shit the bed. A bunch of teams really shit the bed allowing themselves to lose a game with either no time remaining or a game they kept close the entire time and then fucked up and lost.

What else?

We watched MUD.

I really enjoyed it. It’s about two 14 year old boys helping a conman/criminal escape from the law. The conman/criminal is played by Matthew McConaughey who people are blowing him about how good he is in the movie. He’s good. I’ll say that. He’s as good as one would expect as a charismatic loner Southern accent having vagrant. But the two kids are that movie. There are some other veteran actors like Sam Shepard and Michael Shannon who do a great job in the movie too, but they’re just being who they usually be in movies. These two kids murder their performances.

The two characters are Ellis and Neck Bone who are like Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid just starting puberty. Ellis is the movie’s lead and he delivers in a variety of ways from funny to strong, charming to emotional. It’s really great what this kid does. And Neck Bone is wonderful as his best friend, sidekick. I usually hate kid actors, but when one of them (or in this case two) gives a good performance then I will champion their cause.

Like Hailee Steinfeld in “True Grit”. Sure, Bridges and Damon are good, but they simply lived up to their usual potential. Meanwhile, Steinfeld not only acts just as well as them, but better. She steals scenes from them. That’s crazy. Kids suck almost every time, so it really means something when they don’t suck.

“Mud” doesn’t do any favors for its female characters, but it’s one of the better movies I’ve seen this year…

ON THE FLIP-SIDE for the fairer sex…


Danielle and I had a date night to the movie theaters to see “In a World…” at the indie theater a couple towns over and watched this very funny, very well-done comedy by Lake Bell with a smattering of senior citizens. DATE NIGHT.

We stuffed ourselves with Italian food and then waddled over to the theater next door and the movie was pretty great.

Lake does a great job in the movie as well as writing and directing the movie. Ken Marino is genius per usual – one of the most versatile comedic actors working today. And there’s a lot of friendly faces you’ll recognize playing the side characters who all do good work.

I think the movie is good in general and has a solid message about women and positivity about empowerment for them and being women instead of just grown up girls. I liked it.

I find chicks lovable enough just looking at them, but then you find out about some of them and they’re talented and smart and accomplished and you want to just live between their boobs enjoying their fulfilling and important life with them. You know?

Anywhatzzle… people who don’t think women are funny should be hanged to death. That’s just how I feel. I mean it might sound “extreme”, but that’s just me and as we all know – I’m entitled to my opinion that people who don’t like female comedians should have a thick rope wrapped around their neck and then pushed off a high bridge. That’s just me!

I hope you had a great weekend.



One Response to “What To Talk About? What To Talk About?!”

  1. tiffanized said

    I think you just suggested we hang beloved slapstick actor and telethon host Jerry Lewis. He has repeatedly said he doesn’t like comedy by women and that we are “producing machine[s] that bring babies into the world”, which is ironically the only thing he’s ever done that I’ve laughed at. I don’t think we should hang him, but it would be nice if all women collectively decided not to touch his penis. He’s 87, so that might not even be necessary anymore.

    I have the Seattle defense on both my fantasy teams. Sure my WRs are shit, but I stand by my decision to snap D-SEA up early in the draft.

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