“The Walking Dead” spinoff should be an adaptation of “The Last of Us”

September 17, 2013

Hello, dear wonderful reader.

The title kind of says it all. Well, I guess I could have mentioned that THE LAST OF US is a videogame that came out earlier this year, but you also could take a minute and just Google it and find out for yourself. Jeez, you’re lazy. … I’m sorry. Why are we fighting? We’re only a sentence or two into this post and we’re fighting already. I’m sorry. Let me begin again, how was your day? Did you do that thing you were telling me about? You did. Did it go well? It didn’t. That sucks. Well, I love you anyway. And, your butt looks nice today. Like it usually looks really nice, but today there’s just something extra that makes it look even better than usual. Ahhhh, c’mon! I don’t just like you because of your looks! I like your thoughts too, but I thought you’d like being complimented on your looks. Who doesn’t, right?! No! No! I’m not saying your superficial. Ahhhh, can we just start over again? How about I make that thing you like for dinner? Yeah, and, maybe, after that we can watch that show you like. Yeah, that one. Yeah, and then after that, maybe for like half hour I’ll rub that nice looking butt with cocoa butter or something while I watch Sportscenter. Does that sound good? WHAT?!

ANYWAY…

So, “The Last of Us” is a videogame.

I used to feel really nerdy and negative thinking about how much I love videogames, but recently I’ve begun to feel sad that people who do not play videogames will never get to experience how great some of them are and they’ll never know those stories because they’re better than most of the shit you’ll ever see on TV or in the movies.

Strangely enough, while most of TV in general has gone down hill, videogames have climbed mountains and learned to fly. More and more videogames have better writing, better storytelling, and better acting than most of the stuff we are force fed.

This year, videogame fans were spoiled with games like “Bioshock Infinite” and “The Last of Us” as well as a bunch of other games like “Mass Effect” or “Borderlands” or, I’d bet, “Grand Theft Auto V” which comes out today.

But sticking to “The Last of Us” and its zombie apocalypse storyline and the idea that AMC’s “The Walking Dead” announced they’re going to have a spinoff starting in 2015, it really is something that as popular as TWD and as many people praise it I don’t think it is that good at all nor do I think it will ever be as good as “The Last of Us” was.

There are some differences between TWD’s world and TLOU’s world, but it wouldn’t be too difficult to merge the worlds. And no matter what, that’s not happening anyway. So, instead of me just saying TLOU is good and that I wished you played it, I’ll post the wikipedia synopsis of the storyline to show you what you’re missing in the videogame world.

Joel is a single father living in Texas with his twelve-year-old daughter Sarah. In the early hours on his birthday, a sudden outbreak of a mutant Cordyceps fungus ravages the United States, which changes its human hosts into violent monsters. As Joel, his brother Tommy, and Sarah flee the chaos, Sarah is shot by a soldier and dies in Joel’s arms.

In the 20 years that follow, much of civilization is destroyed by the infection, with pockets of survivors living in heavily policed quarantine zones, independent settlements, or nomadic groups. Joel now lives in a quarantine zone in Boston, working as a smuggler alongside his partner, Tess. They hunt down a local gangster, Robert, to recover weapons stolen from them. Before Tess kills him, Robert reveals that he traded them to the Fireflies, an insurgent militia fighting against the authorities governing the quarantine zones. Joel and Tess encounter the Fireflies’ leader, Marlene, who promises them double their stolen cache in return for smuggling a teenage girl, Ellie, to Fireflies outside quarantine.

Ellie is revealed to be infected after she, Joel and Tess escape a patrol. Full infection normally occurs in under two days, but Ellie asserts she was infected three weeks ago, and that her immunity may lead to a cure. Fighting toward the drop-off point, they find that the Fireflies there have been killed. Tess reveals she was bitten while they encountered the infected and orders Joel to take Ellie to his estranged brother, Tommy, who used to be a Firefly. Tess sacrifices herself against approaching soldiers to give the pair a chance to escape, believing in Ellie’s importance as a cure.

Joel and Ellie trek westwards across the country, meeting temporary allies along the way as they struggle through abandoned cities and towns teeming with infected and violent bandits. In the fall, the two finally find Tommy in Wyoming, where he has assembled a fortified settlement near a hydroelectric dam. Joel contemplates leaving Ellie with Tommy, but after repelling bandits and being confronted by Ellie about Sarah, he ultimately decides to stay with her. Tommy directs them to a Fireflies enclave at the University of Eastern Colorado. The two find the place abandoned, but learn that the Fireflies had moved to a hospital in Salt Lake City. They are attacked by bandits as they leave, who severely wound Joel during the escape.

In the winter, Ellie and Joel take shelter in the mountains. Joel is on the brink of death and relies on Ellie to care for him. After killing a large stag while hunting, Ellie encounters David and James, a pair of scavengers willing to trade medicine in exchange for the meat. While James goes to recover the medicine, Ellie and David are attacked by a horde of infected, but manage to fend them off. Afterwards, David reveals that the bandits Ellie and Joel killed at the university were part of his group; he allows Ellie to leave with the medicine. David sends a posse to track Ellie the following morning, forcing her to lead them away from Joel and be captured. Ellie learns that David and his people are cannibals and escapes after refusing to join them, but David eventually corners her in a burning restaurant. Meanwhile, Joel recovers from his fever and sets out to find Ellie, fighting through David’s gang to the restaurant. He reaches Ellie as she violently kills David in self-defense; Joel consoles her before they flee together.

In the spring, Joel and Ellie arrive in Salt Lake City. They make their way through the flooded highway tunnels but are caught in the rapids, with Joel barely rescuing Ellie from drowning. A patrol of Fireflies capture them. Joel awakens in the hospital and is greeted by Marlene. She informs him that Ellie is being prepped for surgery: to create a vaccine for the infection, the Fireflies have to remove a Cordyceps sample from Ellie’s brain, killing her in the process. Joel escapes and battles his way to the surgery room, from where he carries an unconscious Ellie to the basement parking garage. There he confronts and kills Marlene to prevent the Fireflies from pursuing them. On the drive out of the city, Ellie finally awakens, and Joel lies to her about the events, telling her that the Fireflies had tried and failed to produce a cure with other immune candidates and had given up trying. The pair arrive on the outskirts of Tommy’s settlement. Ellie expresses her survivor’s guilt and asks Joel to swear that his story about the Fireflies is true, which he does.

AND that’s better than anything that “The Walking Dead” has done or will do unless you consider getting chicks to fawn over a weird hillbilly or the racial progress of having an Asian guy bang a hot white chick and her old white dad is completely cool with it.

That’s about it.

Anyway… videogames are amazing. Movies adapted from videogames are never honest portrayals of those videogames and are usually the complete opposite of what those games are.

Sure I’ll concede, playing “Call of Duty” can be fun online, but I get that it is pointless just killing people online over and over again. BUT! That’s not all that videogames are. There are a lot of them with thoughtful stories that can be funny or sad or thrilling and so forth.

Butts.

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One Response to ““The Walking Dead” spinoff should be an adaptation of “The Last of Us””

  1. Kim said

    I would definitely watch that – sounds like a really good movie. Shame TWD got so boring. I gave up after the first season, but catch online recaps here and there. IMO it’s much better to waste 5 minutes reading a recap, than 60 minutes watching the show.

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