Beautiful Blonde Engineering Next Generation’s Super Human Society

September 25, 2013

Good morning, happy campers!

Besides everyone bitching about how bad Dexter was and how amazing Breaking Bad is, what else is even going on in the world that isn’t about football? I love writing about football and its idiosyncrasy that seemingly only football has to offer. So… are there any interesting football related stories out there?

I mean off the top of my head there was that story about Cleveland Browns tight end Jordan Cameron having a knockout for a sister named Brynn who played hoops for USC when she attended school there and also got knocked up by USC quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner and NFL bust Matt Leinhart then cut to nowadays – like 6 years later – and Brynn has now copulated with NBA star Blake Griffin.

KA-BOOM!

In conclusion… Brynn Cameron is making a super-race of children!

Seriously, this is what I’ve been motherfucking talking about!!!!!!

I’ve made jokes/observations/wishes in the past that a woman like Maria Sharapova should sincerely give up on dating Euro trash or golfers or whoever and instead eventually breed with a superior gifted human like Detroit Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson to see what glorious demi-God would be produced. I’m cool if they’re cool with having good old fashioned smashing genitals sex to do it, but I’m also ok if Calvin just jizzez in a cup and Maria donates some eggos and we make this Herculean child in a lab.

So, I’m all for this. I’m all for Chalize Theron and Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton pumping out a kid together as part of a government or privately funded venture into creating a super race of humans who will then explore the universe defeating or allying with aliens species. I don’t see any downside to this.

Back to the point at hand, Brynn Cameron is already doing this. AND GOD BLESS HER!!

Let’s look at the vital stats…

BRYNN CAMERON

Positives: 5’10”, skilled basketballer in high school and college, college graduate – I believe, hot… Negatives: none?

BABY’S DADDY #1 – MATT LEINART

6’5″, 225 pounds, great college quarterback, Heisman trophy winner, college graduate, hot… Negatives: has flopped thus far in the NFL, referenced on Laguna Beach, but never appeared…

BABY’S DADDY #2 – BLAKE GRIFFIN

6’10”, 250 pounds, probably dunked on every human being he’s met, played college ball for a couple years before going pro, pro-baller 3x All Star, Rookie of the Year, and Dunk Champion, funny, he’s interesting looking (Dude’s got curly red hair, so he and I are blood brothers somewhere down the line)… Negatives: home-schooled until the 8th grade…

What does this all mean?

Something amazing.

Both of the off-spring are boys, so I’m guessing they’ll be genetic freak men just like their dads plus with those genetic freak woman genes of their mom. So, amazing!

Also, I’d like to go back to the aforementioned Brynn’s brother who is also a professional athlete – Jordan Cameron from the Cleveland Browns who is 6’5″, 250 and all that jazz.

And Jordan is currently rumored to be dating supermodel Erin Heatherton.

Good for that guy, right?

I mean who knows if Erin and Jordan will ever make babies together. I’m not sure about any athletic history in her family, but Erin is 5’11” and is paid to look sexy in bikinis, so there are some good genes there.

Watch out for that Cameron family of SoCal because they are making things happen!

I feel sorry for any of the children that will have to play against these super-children in little leagues and most likely have their spirits crushed by them.

KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING BRYNN! I SUPPORT YOU!

TO THE FUTURE!

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