Can’t be worse than any other month – OCTOBER MOVIE PREVIEWS!!!! – PART 1

September 27, 2013

Howdy, Friday-ers!


What is going on?

Well, two WNBA players aka womenz jokingly kissed during a game and a ref called a foul on the both of them. WHAT?! That’s how all the games should be. There should totally be more kissing in the WNBA. And a foul? Seriously! A foul?! With all the European men in the NBA, there’s probably been a million kisses between them and no one has called a foul. So, for fuck’s sake, let the womenz kiss each other all they want. Just ridiculous. I hope they stone that referee.

That’s pretty light-hearted news.

There’s other news like a former football player for Florida A&M who lives in North Carolina lost control of his car at 2:30 am the other day and ran to a house and banged on the door for help and the woman in the house called the cops because she thought she was being robbed and when the cops showed up the 24 year old ran toward the cops and one of the cops shot him 10 times (he shot at him more times, but was accurate with 10 of the bullets, which is pretty fucking accurate), which killed him. Oh, by the way, if you hadn’t sadly guessed it already – the football player was black and the woman was white as well as the cop.

So there’s that too, which is heavy-hearted news.

What else?

DON JON is opening today. It’s the Joseph Gordon Levitt rom-com of sorts with Scarlett Johansson. It looks good. I like the trailers and the interviews I’ve read and I enjoy the premise in general, so I’m hoping to see it and I’m hoping to like it.

I’ve become a JGL fan over the past few years when I wasn’t before and I was kind of rooting to stay that way. I was biased and biased negatively. Although, even with that, I’m always willing to be wrong and have some completely change my opinion of them because it’s not like JGL ruined my parent’s marriage or anything. I just didn’t like “Brick”. You know? Anyway, I watched “3rd Rock from the Sun” and thought it was good, but that was mostly because of Lithgow and Kristen Johnston. I’ve seen a bunch of JGL movies like “Angels in the Outfield”, “Latter Days” – one of the worst movies ever, “The Lookout”, “Brick” as mentioned, “Havoc”, “10 Things I Hate About You” and so on. I never thought much of the guy as an actor and wasn’t impressed by him and with the hype surrounding him – I became a bit of contrarian about Mr. JGL.

It wasn’t until (500) Days of Summer that I really saw a demonstration of his abilities. And I liked what I saw. I like that movie. I understand people’s dislike of it or their gripes with it. I don’t think it’s flawless or anything, but I liked it’s imagination and I thought it was provocative and I thought he was great in it. And Zooey’s certainly very desirable and an unbearable cunt at the same time in that movie, which is seemingly what the role called for. Since then, Hesher, Inception, 50/50, The Dark Knight Rises, and Looper. Were all solid flicks. 50/50 showing off the best of JGL’s abilities, but through and through that’s 5 films in a row that I’ve been thoroughly entertained by. I did see Premium Rush and that sucked, but no one is perfect. Anyway… it wasn’t his fault.

So, I’m looking forward to Don Jon.


A.C.O.D. – Adam Scott leads a comedy about people who have grown up with comically bad divorced parents. Scott’s younger brother is getting engaged and then married, so he needs to get his parents together for the shenanigans and more shenanigans occur. There are a lot of funny people in the movie like Richard Jenkins, Catherine O’Hara, Amy Poehler, Jane Lynch, and so on, so this could be promising. I’ve also seen some shitty reviews for the movie, but who the fuck knows! I think CEDAR RAPIDS is one of the best comedies I’ve seen in years and I was floored by how good that movie was and is on repeat viewings and that movie got torpedoed by reviews. Meanwhile, critics thought “Ted” about the stuffed animal who talked was hilarious and I watched it and it wasn’t.

ALL IS BRIGHT – There was a movie from several years ago called JUNEBUG, which I’m a big fan on and the person who made that hasn’t made much since until this movie. This is a comedy starring Paul Rudd and Paul Giamatti as Canadian conmen who are going to sell Christmas trees in NYC for quick cash and I guess more stuff happens. Could be good. Could also be too small of a movie to be good. I don’t know. I’m rooting for it.

BAD MILO – I already previewed this movie because it was supposed to come out earlier this year, but now it is coming out in October. It’s still about Ken Marino have a demonic butt baby named Milo. I’ve read some very negative reviews for this saying that it isn’t as funny as one would think it would be with the cast. I don’t know. Who knows! I think Ken Marino is about as talented and funny as actors get, so I guess watch the demonic butt baby movie at your own risk.

GRAVITY – If you don’t know this movie by now then you’ve recently gone through some type of memory removal surgery. It’s the astronaut movie with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney that has been having commercials on every channel ever. Pretty much everyone is blowing this movie like it is The Godfather set in space, so I’m excited. I’m a big fan of the director Alfonso Cuaron to begin with and was already looking forward to it because of that, so hopefully it lives up to all these expectations. I know one thing… it’s in 3D and will be the first movie in at least a year that I’ve gone to in 3D since I swore them off. I will see this in 3D, so Cuaron better fucking bring it!

PARKLAND – It’s got a great cast, but I’m not expecting much from this movie. There have been several JFK assassination movies made and none of them are particularly good including JFK, so I’m not expecting the Zac Efron version of those events to be better. It will be a good transition for Efron into more adult movies that don’t have him in a singing high schooler role, but that’s about it I’m guessing.

RUNNER RUNNER – Not looking forward to this. It looks like a by-the-numbers waste of time. More so, the movie looks like a less interesting and less diverse version of the movie THE COUNSELOR which comes out later this year. Unless you’re dead set on seeing every Justin Timberlake movie in the theaters, I’m guessing this is at least skippable until it arrives on Netflix. From there, possibly get loopy on NyQuil and watch it.

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE – If you’re into those slasher flicks where a hot chick kills all the people who are seemingly going to rape her or whatever then this is another one of those movies for you. It’s Amber Heard being taken to a secluded ranch by a bunch of guys who want to gang bang her and then the guys start getting murdered. Sounds like a keeper, right?

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS – I didn’t see United 93 and I doubt I will ever see this. I really don’t understand why someone would want to see a recreation of these events, but here we go. The trailers seem to show the whole movie of a movie that you already know the whole story of. The only difference is now you will get to hear the written dialogue between the pirates who get killed by Navy Seal snipers and Tom Hanks with an accent. GREAT, right?

ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW – Sounds very interesting. It’s a guerrilla shot horror movie shot at Disney World. So a bunch of clever folks are going to be running around Disney World acting out a horror movie while secretly filming it without the permission of Disney World. That’s the story, that is what happened. The story is a typical horror kind of story that kind of sounds Shining like about a dad losing it on his family in this surrealist world. So, it’s promising.

GHOST TEAM ONE – It’s a horror comedy about Paranormal Activity for the most part. It looks pretty funny with the same type of scares that Paranormal Activity delivers. If you like that stuff then you should definitely check this out because it looks pretty well made.

MACHETE KILLS – Yeah, don’t see this.

ROMEO & JULIET – I think Hailee Steinfeld was brilliant in “True Grit”, but I’m not sure why we need another R & J movie. It’s got a great cast minus Ed Westwick who sucks. And it’s got Hailee playing Juliet which should be rewarding for her when she wins an MTV Movie Award next year. Right? Vomit.

ZERO CHARISMA – Sounds funny. I haven’t watched the trailer yet, but everyone is loving it. It’s about a group of nerdy guys who play Dungeons & Dragons and the most nerdy of them who plays the dungeon master is threatened when a likable new guy joins the group. If you don’t know what a “dungeon master” is then you probably don’t need to see this. If you do, then you probably do need to see this. I’m on the latter side of things, so at the very least I’ll watch this trailer later today.

So that’s the first half of October.

I’ll finish up with the second half on Monday.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

I hope the Steelers win in London.

I hope this house buying process I’m currently involved in has more good news this weekend.

I hope and I hope and I hope, right?

I love you.

One Response to “Can’t be worse than any other month – OCTOBER MOVIE PREVIEWS!!!! – PART 1”

  1. tiffanized said

    I can’t get on the JGL bandwagon yet. To me he’s still Tommy from 3rd Rock and in my brain that show is recent because I am stuck in the early naughts. I’m fast becoming one of those old people who starts all my stories with “back in my day . . .”

    The house buying process sucks. You sit for two months twiddling your thumbs waiting for contracts and documents and record searches, then one day it’s OH MY GOD COME HERE AND SIGN 47 DOCUMENTS YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE PROCESS. It’s really fun when you sell one house and buy another one because you have to add getting the hell out of one house and into another so while you’re signing your 47 documents (some of which are just acknowledging that the page was left purposely blank) all of your shit is in a U-Haul idling in the attorney’s parking lot. I once slept in my moving truck because there was something trivial wrong with my closing docs and I couldn’t move until the next day. I almost told them to fuck it, I’m going to just live in this panel van in a Wal-mart parking lot instead.

    But it’s oh so good to sit in your own house and think, I’m going to paint the ceiling chartreuse and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Makes it all worthwhile.

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