Yesterday, I Was Sort-of Saved By A Woman

October 2, 2013

Good day!

A good day indeed, right? It’s a day, at the very least. 50% ain’t bad. Unless we’re talking like grades or something because a 50 is failing. Like really failing. At my school, failing started at 64 out of 100, so 50 is really failing. At the same time, if you were a baseball player and you hit 50% of the balls that came at you, you’d be tested for performance enhancing drugs every second of the day because you would be by far the greatest baseball player ever. Same goes for basketball. If you were hitting 50% of all your shots, you’d be a Hall of Famer. If you were a quarterback making 50% of your completions? Nothing special. Need to be doing better than that. Your team is probably losing a lot. Anyway…

Ahhhh… Yesterday!

As the title suggests, I was “sort-of” saved by a woman, yesterday. I believe the “sort-of” was because she may have set the whole problem into motion like a dull butterfly effect, but she did rectify it in the end. So, what am I talking about?! Well, let’s set-up what happened yesterday…

Yesterday, around this time, I think I was writing yesterday’s post. Yep. I was writing about fluoride treatments.

After that, unshowered, I took my dog, Coco, for a walk. Before we went on the walk, I downloaded the newest episode of Professor Blastoff to my iphone, so I could listen to it on the walk. I put my headphones in, started up the podcast, got Coco’s harness on, and we headed out the door. It was a beautiful day. We took our normal route of make a left out the door, make a left at the corner, make a left at that corner then a quick right, a left at the next corner, up the hill, make another left, make a left at the end of that street, and back to the house. It takes about 20-30 minutes depending on how many times Coco stops to pee on everything like a boy dog does even though she’s a girl dog.

Before the left that leads to the hill and after the quick right, a dog came charging at Coco and I. It’s good thing I keep my head on a swivel and/or am paranoid about things sneaking up on me because I don’t think I would have noticed that dog until too late. I had the headphones in with comedian Kyle Dunnigan waxing on about whatever he was waxing on about absorbing that sensory’s perception. As we crossed in front of a house, I noticed a dog was standing at the front door, an all glass door, and right as we passed and the door was in the last bit of my peripherals – I saw the door push open and the dog come out. The dog was about the size of a German Shepherd and it didn’t appear to be baring its fangs, but it shot right at us. Coco was certainly startled and was growling or looked like it. As mentioned, all I could really hear was the comedic conversation in my ear buds.

So, I went into defense mode… meaning me pulling Coco behind me and me sticking out my long leg to keep the other dog at bay as I aimlessly barked “hey!” at the other dog and/or the world. After a several seconds that felt like several minutes, out of the corner of my eye, a woman with a leaf blower flew in from right-side like one of King Arthur’s knights of the round table and her leaf blower as Excalibur.

She ran interference and corralled the home-owning dog seemingly back to its home. I in that time simply walked away from the situation and continued across the street and up the hill. I gave a couple looks back, just in case the dog had defeated the leaf blower woman and now was charging us again.

What I assume? That house and that dog is that woman’s. I imagine she just left the house moments earlier with the leaf blower or to fetch the leaf blower and didn’t close the front door all the way thinking that nothing bad would happen as her dog doesn’t normally push doors to open, but that’s when another dog isn’t walking on by. So, she’s the root cause of the problem, but she’s also the savior.

Wielding her mighty leaf blower, I never saw her coming.

I was wearing sunglasses and my eyes and head were firmly focused on the dog trying to get to my dog, which meant that part of my heightened reality was tinted a little dark. And then out of my peripheral untouched by any colored lens, a long thick plastic tube attached to a thing being held by a small middle-aged woman with a hat on came from that brightly lit outside world and then dove into my colored lens world, which I was struggling with.

I was certainly surprised to see the leaf blower and the woman. I believe the other dog was more surprised as it shrank back immediately at the sight of the leaf blower’s powerful arm.

And then like I said, up the hill and a few lefts and we were back home. Home. Free of leaf blower super-heroines and wild door opening dogs.

Oh yeah, and Coco took a poop on someone’s lawn and I threw it away in someone else’s garbage. That’s a pretty steady law I’ve been breaking.

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