October 7, 2013

Howdy y’all.

I don’t know how far you will need to travel, but you need to go find an IMAX 3D theater and go see…




I will preface this by saying that if you get motion sickness easily or are just a puss about things then you might not want to see “Gravity”. For everyone else, it is a motherfucking must see.

While Alfonso Cuaron’s last sci-fi tale CHILDREN OF MEN felt like a rollercoaster ride, GRAVITY is a legit rollercoaster experience. A rollercoaster in space where you think you’ll die alone from either hypothermia or lack of oxygen. SO FUN!

I hate 3D. I’ve had no issue saying that in the past and I still don’t like it, but “Gravity” should be experienced in 3D. It is what that stupid medium was created for. I saw AVATAR opening night and didn’t think the 3D added a whole hell of a lot. It was a very colorful and vibrant movie that I thought was enjoyable, but I didn’t really fall in love with the 3D-ness. I’ve gone on to see a half dozen to a dozen movies in 3D and up until Friday, the best was JACKASS 3D, by far. Most 3D movies weren’t made with 3D in mind and were only later ported to 3D for ticket sales. Other 3D movies use 3D as a gimmick of simply “it’s coming right for us” moments over and over again and those movies are usually shlocky shit like the 3D Resident Evil movie and simply any 3D horror movies.

But “Gravity” is fucking amazing.

I imagine it’s still amazing on the 2D, but I highly recommend the IMAX 3D for a few reasons…

1. SOUND – Everyone focuses on the visuals when you hear IMAX because of the big ass screen, but those are also the showings where the movie theater actually jacks up the sound on some state of the art surround sound speakers. Sound is a character in this movie. Whether it is the sound of Sandra Bullock’s panic breaths or the dull thumping of something hitting the spaceship that makes it sound like they’re at the bottom of the ocean like the titanic.

The lack of sound is a character too. There’s quite a bit of silence in the movie. The silence is powerful as some of the biggest thrills in the movie revolve around that sound doesn’t travel in space. Something catastrophic could be happening a hundred yards away and you wouldn’t be able to hear it type of stuff. It’s amazing. Plus, there’s no one up there besides the characters, so when they don’t talk and there is silence from that then it really illustrates how alone they are.

There is music in the movie that is wonderfully intertwined with all the danger.

I can only think of a couple of movies that while I was watching and/or when I was finished watching that I thought, “This movie fucking kicked ass in sound editing” and this is one of those movies for sure.

2. DISTANCE – Like with sound, there are not many movies that I walk out of and think that they used spatial reasoning in every frame and in every action scene so well than this one. The distance things are from each other and the element of what’s behind is moving forward and what’s forward moving behind has never been more of an intense experience than in this movie.

3. WEIGHT – It has to do with the special effects and the sound combining together to work as one, but the weight of the space stations mixed with the lack of weight in space and so forth is mesmerizing throughout the movie. The idea that these multi ton space stations are just hanging out in the cosmos effortlessly, but when a human body hits against one of them they are an unforgiving like the building they are is incredible in the movie. There’s a real sense of what weightlessness is while at the same time everything weighs so much.

4. SANDRA BULLOCK’S LEGS AND BUTT – I mean given the opportunity of seeing a toned Sandra Bullock in boy shorts and a wife beater on a 2D screen or an IMAX 3D screen – it’s a no-brainer answer.

Besides all the technical stuff…

Sandra Bullock is excellent. George Clooney is as well, but the movie is Sandra’s first and foremost.

I will not be surprised if/when she gets nominated for best actress for this movie and this time I’ll be able to enjoy that nomination as opposed to the “Blindside” one. I hated “Blindside”. That movie is absolutely infuriating, also racist. Nevertheless, “Gravity” is a great addition to Bullock’s very interesting and all over the place filmography.

Sandra Bullock movies I enjoy in chronological order…

LOVE POTION NO. 9 – big fan, truly

DEMOLITION MAN – One of the best movies ever made

SPEED – Also, one of the best movies ever made

THE NET – big fan, truly

A TIME TO KILL – solid movie

28 DAYS – Not bad

MISS CONGENIALITY – Not bad at all


CRASH – Although, her character is easily the weakest in the movie. She slips down a flight of stairs? Ugh.

THE PROPOSAL – Not bad at all

THE HEAT – solid movie

And I think I’ve seen the majority of the others that I didn’t mention including “Forces of Nature” and “Hope Floats” and “Two If By Sea” and “While You Were Sleeping?” and “Speed 2: Cruise Control”, which are pretty terrible.


I love the director Alfonso Cuaron and I love “Gravity”.

Outside of that…

I drank a bunch of wine, scotch, beer, and tequila on Saturday/night.

I went to a wedding on Sunday and watched some middle-aged people dirty dance to Pitbull’s music.


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