U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! ALL FUCKIN’ DAY!

November 8, 2013

Whaddup.

I was planning on doing the CMA’s red carpet yesterday, but before I saw the red carpet photos I saw that Carrie Underwood and some country singer guy and maybe more people did a spoof song on Obamacare and instead of writing a post I decided to pray to the Lord above that all the CMA people got herpes in all their orifices.

Listen, you rich privileged fucks who can afford whatever diamond studded healthcare you heart desires because there are such fucking idiots in this world that will pay several hundred to thousands of dollars to listen to your absolutely trite and unoriginal garbage testicle-less musak, there are people out there who need healthcare and laughing in their face about – well fuck your fucking shit fucking selves in your shit fucking brain holes.

PLUS… Carrie Underwood’s Monday Night Football anthem sucks dick.

And I’m not talking about clean cut, not too veiny, well formed man’s penis, which is attached to a man you’re attracted to and doesn’t have any sexually transmitted diseases.

I’m talking like ant-eater’s dick. Like that’s not a dick you should be anywhere near with anything ever.

So, this post has kind of never been on its rails…

I really just wanted to say that yesterday’s post didn’t happen because I got mad and I forgot what time it was.

Today’s post… well… I hope you have a wonderful weekend as always.

I did want to post a picture, a picture I’ve seen others criticize and yet I think it is perfect and wonderful.

MISS UNIVERSE!!!!

Apparently, they’re still having these competitions. I don’t think I’ve watched a Miss America, Miss Teen America, Miss World, Miss Universe, Miss some chick walking around a stage or whatever competition in literally 20 years. I know I’ve watched like one of these competitions, but I was a kid and didn’t know better.

Nevertheless, they’re still happening and this year’s Miss Universe had a “costume” category.

It appears that the costumes had to have some relation to the chick’s home country she’s representing in the “universe”. Here are some examples…

POLAND!

It’s nice. It actually looks like a nice dress. I mean I don’t really know how often chicks wear white dresses, but this is fairly nice looking and kind of contemporary looking even. It’s not really much of a “costume”. Either way, it’s nice.

NAMIBIA

Ok. This has a period piece feel. It’s definitely got an older style look. Also, very earthy with the greens. It’s not something you would normally wear, so it does feel costumey, but it’s not ridiculous or anything. I mean it’s a “costume” they’re supposed to be wearing. Costumes are supposed to be adventurous, a break from the status quo. This feels safe.

COSTA RICA

Ok, now we’re getting some where. This is absurd. Looks like a pink Egyptian something or other. Looks like a Mardi Gras parade lady. It’s definitely not something she could go to the grocery store in. So, it’s a nice “costume”. Still though, it’s nothing we haven’t really seen before. Like I said, it kind of looks like any carnivale parade chick.

HAITI

This is kind of own the same level of out there as the last one. She kind of looks like one of the dancers during the wedding scene in “Coming to America”, which is one of the greatest movies ever made ever. Don’t be fooled by Eddie Murphy’s debacles of movies over the past decade or so, the dude made a few movies that are absolutely perfect with “Coming to America” and “Trading Places” being two of them. Perfect movies.

GREAT BRITAIN

Yep. Great Britain knows what costumes are all about – sluttiness. She’s got her T’s up and her P pretty much out. I mean the other outfits were colorful, but you wouldn’t think high priced escort, but Great Britain brings that flare. Well done, GB. Keep it classy.

SWITZERLAND

Sexy, but with a Disney kind of mystique about it. It’s not slutty like GB’s. It’s sexy, but it’s superhero-y. I guess she’s like an ice or snow queen, but like a really nice one. She’s just some cute blonde in a one-piece looking like she’s going to jump into a pool in some Esther Williams movie.

Some are interesting, some are safe.

But, there’s one country, one country to rule them all that needs to show off its costume.

AND. IT’S. MAGNIFICENT.

U. S. A.

OPTIMUS MOTHERFUCKING PRIME!!!

AMAZING!!!! I LOVE AMERICA!!!

It’s pretty much Lady Gaga as Optimus Prime, which is also 100% American as well.

I love it. I love it for what it is and I love it for what it is insinuating.

Optimus Prime is fucking American. You bet your ass, he’s American.

Optimus Prime is another American success story. He’s an alien who was a middling character on his home planet caught up in a war and then came to the U. S. of A. aka the Land of Opportunity and he became a hero and leader to his people and ours and to this entire planet. Optimus Prime, I love it.

I hope that Great Britain chick mouthed off to USA and USA/Optimus Prime punched the bitch in her veneers.

Have a great weekend.

I love you.

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One Response to “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! ALL FUCKIN’ DAY!”

  1. That was unexpected. Unexpected and magnificent.

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