Mah Bay-Bay Can Burn A Mean Saw-See-Ch!!!!

January 23, 2014


It has come to my attention that I have not formerly talked about the AFC/NFC Championship Football Party that Danielle and I threw on Sunday.

For those unaware, two Sundays before the Superbowl… actually let me back it up even more.

For those unaware, there’s a sport called football also known as American professional tackle football… actually let me back it up even more.

For those unaware, the greatest nation in the history of all nations is the United States of America… actually one more time.

For those unaware, human beings!

For those unaware, LIFE! We’re living it!

Hmmmmm… some heavily concentrated hydrogen had sex with each other thus creating what we know as “The Big Bang” aka the universe’s space jizz!

OK! So, that’s settled.

If you don’t really watch the NFL, but you watch the Superbowl then you probably think everyone loves the Superbowl, but they really don’t. The Superbowl is the anti-thesis to football. Actually, cricket might be the anti-thesis to football, but back to the matter at hand. The Superbowl has become more commercialized than Christmas and while it’s difficult to fuck up gift giving, the Superbowl is generally far from the greatest game of the year. There have been many great Superbowls, but there have been many not so great Superbowls. Add to the pressure of the final game of the year deciding who is best, that the Superbowl is bloated with so many literal commercial breaks, a longer intro, longer halftime show, and two weeks of build-up that sometimes can ruin the game.

The best Sunday in the NFL is the AFC/NFC Championships.

First off, you get 2 games instead of 1. That’s already better than the Superbowl.

Second, it’s generally 2 games with a lot of history and animosity built up between the teams because pretty much any playoff team in the NFC is rivals with every other playoffs team in the NFC and same goes for the AFC. While there are great beat-up rivalries in the league between teams that are near each other in proximity or in the same division, that doesn’t necessarily make those two teams equals. But playoff teams have to be good teams and especially the playoff teams that make it to the AFC/NFC Championships.

So, you get the two battle tested best from the NFC and the two battle tested best from the AFC fighting to have a shot to say they’re the best. And honestly, teams usually slug it out more in these games than the Superbowl because EVERYONE is watching the Superbowl and getting to the Superbowl is a prize in and of itself and sometimes teams play it safe once they’re in the Superbowl because they’re worried too much about losing. And you want to make it into the Superbowl with momentum and not just sneaking your way in there.

ANYWAY… best Sunday of the calendar year, every year!

And, Danielle and I threw a food and booze party, which featured this…

Those are sausages. Lots of them.

That wasn’t the only thing Danielle and I made. Specifically, that wasn’t the only thing Danielle made as she made an illegal amount of food for this party, which we’ve been working our way through ever since.

Those sausages were for the sausage & peppers sandwiches. Those sausages filled two crockpots with peppers & onions and a mixture of tomato paste and red wine. They cooked for 6 hours and were served on sub rolls or hoagie rolls or whatever the fuck you call the long rolls, you particular bread naming fucks.

What else?

Danielle made SIX POUNDS of BRISKET, which was phenomenal. Danielle made that dutch oven recipe for the first time only a couple weeks ago and we loved it and ate the leftovers as sandwiches. This time, we just ate that brisket as sandwiches and it was amazing. It was a ridiculous amount of brisket to make and personally I got 4 or 5 sandwiches out of the brisket. That brisket is cooked for like 4 hours in a dutch oven filled with a bunch of vegetables that I can’t remember anymore and red wine and it’s fucking amazing.

Danielle made gooey MAC & CHEESE. Actually, a 13×9 pan of that amazingness.

Danielle made BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP. Also, fucking delicious. One of my favorites.

And Danielle madeĀ CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELS with the teams’ colors. So, fucking great.

What did I do?

Well, I ate so much of what was listed above and drank 15 to 20 beers.

I did do some cooking.

I made BROWNIES from a box.


I did cook some RIBS. I made a million RIBS. It’s thoroughly not difficult to do, which could be why I was in charge of them in my inebriated state.

All you need to do is buy the ribs from COSTCO that are the pre-rubbed St. Louis ribs. Or, you could just buy ribs and then dry rub them with a store bought dry rub, either way. You separate the slabs into nice sized slabs that fit into a 9×13 foil tray, wrap the top with tin foil, and stick them into the oven at 325 for 4 hours. Halfway in – 2 hours for the non-mathematicians – take the trays out and pour the grease that has accumulated at the bottom of the tray out. Wrap the top again and put them back in. When 4 hours is up, pour the grease out again, ditch the foil wrap, get whatever wet barbecue sauce you like and slap that on the ribs and throw the ribs back in the oven for like 20-30 minutes. When that’s over… take them out and they’ll fall right off the bone and stuff your fucking face with some ribs.

So… there’s that.

Also, we bought like cheese and hummus and a veggie platter and guacamole dip and chips and crackers and beer and wine and really never stopped eating or drinking the entire two games. It was magnificent.

Friends came over and we laughed as well.

2 Responses to “Mah Bay-Bay Can Burn A Mean Saw-See-Ch!!!!”

  1. tiffanized said

    I’m driving up to steal Danielle. Fair warning.

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