Kristen Stewart’s poetry doesn’t rhyme
February 12, 2014
I hope life is treating you right and all the boys are gossiping about how good your butt looks today, you know respectful like tho.
I did need to drop by and post something quick just in case you missed it on the interwebz today.
THE WANTESS Kristen Bethany* Stewart has given the world a poem! A poem that she wrote herself! And for some reason read to Marie Claire magazine. Probably because she’s some angel of realness and she WANTED to do IT. Anyway… here it is… from the lips of Kristen Stewart and later transcribed by some underpaid intern…
My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole
I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly…ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.
And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He’s speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
And I’m drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
So, I have one question. A question that I’m sure you’re all wondering. A question that I believe will eat at my brain not knowing the answer.
WHO THE FUCK IS MARFA?!
WHAT THE FUCK IS A MARFA?!
Right?! TOTES MCGOTES!!
So, I’d pay $25 American to hear Kristen Stewart say “Marfa” in her natural semi-stammered typical speech pattern then have Kristen Stewart say “Marfa” again in an exaggerated blues-y Southern accent, which I would then make my ringtone.
MARFA!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! MARFA!!!!
Kristen Stewart’s poetry wants IT.
*I know her middle name isn’t Bethany, which is slightly insane in its own way