This is me laughing my ass off

February 24, 2014

Howdy folks!

I hope everyone had a good/great weekend. I know I did!

What did I do?

Well to start, I ate a classy ass dinner on Friday night. Took m’lady out to a fine dining establishment where you get dressed up to eat at to celebrate her promotion. Yerp. I’m sharing my bed with a director now. A director! We ate some fancy foods, drank some fancy drinks, and then came home to play with our dog and watch a marathon of “Cops” because that’s how you cap off a classy ass dinner.

Saturday? We went grocery shopping, we played with Coco, we cooked short ribs for dinner, we drank some gin & tonics, and we watched the UFC fights, which included the most exciting fighter in the UFC – “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey – doing her thing one more time. Seriously, Ronda’s the best. She’s always attacking to win regardless of what is happening and it is non-stop. She’s absolutely amazing.

Sunday? We enjoyed the nice weather, we ate a nice breakfast, we made the beast with two backs, we started watching the second season of House of Cards (ZOE!), and we watched True Detective, we made delicious cheese steaks for the first time.

About the only bad thing that happened this weekend was watching “The Walking Dead”, which is hands down the worst television show that I force myself to watch.

And, the quiet MVP of the weekend was pomegranate seltzer. Seriously, I was sipping on that stuff like it was going out of style… which it probably is or maybe is coming back into style because I’m making it come back. I couldn’t drink a glass of seltzer water to save my life when I was 10 years old. Now, I’m wondering how cost effective it is to drink a bottle of pomegranate seltzer everyday. Pretty cost effective considering I think it was like 50 cents a bottle.

ANYWAY!

Also on Sunday…

I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!!!!

If you ever wanted to see/hear me laugh my ass off until I cried and wanted that to go on for like 15 minutes then TODAY is your lucky day!

This coming Saturday is the The Ultimate Fighter finale for the first season in China. CHINA!

The UFC hasn’t aired any of the episodes yet online or on TV for us viewers, but it has been on TV over there. I’m going to have to write an obligatory article for the finale that won’t require me to actually watch the show, but out of curiosity I wanted to see what happened on the show, so I went over to my friend and yours WIKIPEDIA!!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ultimate_Fighter:_China

So, I started reading the wiki page and I started laughing a little to myself while reading the recap of the first episode when it says that Cung Le (a UFC fighter who is acting as the host/boss of the show instead of UFC president Dana White) puts the weight of this country’s future – all 1.3 billion of them – on these guys’ shoulders on how they do on this show. Generally speaking, on the US TUF, if you don’t act like a complete asshole and do something illegal then you’ll probably be ok. For the most part, all you need to do is show you have some skills and that you actually want to fight and that you’re not a complete douchebag and you’ll be a-ok.

Then I started reading the second episode… and that’s when I started losing it. The from bad to worse to even WORSE to completely broken spirit to off the show – story of Li Jinyang had me just dying laughing. I was laughing so hard that I thought I might want to record this because it’s so ridiculous. I then read the rest of the wikipedia page while recording my reaction, which is me just laying on my side on the couch and every once and a while coming to the verge of death from laughing so hard.

So, enjoy that.

In BACHELOR NEWS!!!!

There are two episodes this week. There’s one tonight and one tomorrow night. One of them is the famed HOMETOWNS episode where creepy ass Juan Pablo gets to go home with the gals and see how much their family did not support them in going on this show. Also, there’s the FANTASY SUITES which is when Juan Pablo asks the girls to come to bed with him and fuck and ABC/DISNEY listens in to it.

And, it appears that all the girls cry and cry and cry whether dealing with their families or having sex with Juan Pablo, so this should be great television.

I’m guessing only one girl will get kicked off this week since we’re down to only 4 girls, and I think I would be fucking surprised if that girl wasn’t Andi.

If one girl gets kicked off, it’s Andi.

If two girls get kicked off, it’s Andi and some other girl.

Andi is not appearing in next week’s episode in my opinion.

The preview shows Andi’s dad being 100% against Juan Pablo, so that can’t be good. Plus, Andi and Juan Pablo will never work. She did go on a tear against NERDS(!!!)!)!)!)!)!(!((!)!) last week, but this girl seriously can’t be dating or marrying a non-English speaking dumbass. She can easily find an English speaking dumbass to date/marry in Atlanta.

I think it’s going to come down to Nikki and Clare in the end.

Anywhatzzle!

I love you.

I hope you had a great weekend.

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2 Responses to “This is me laughing my ass off”

  1. tiffanized said

    At first I thought it said Danielle had been made a dictator, and my second thought was that she’d be like the nicest dictator in the history of dictators. But director is even better since she’ll probably have to imprison less people.

    I did not get the giggles from the Wikipedia page. But did Li leave the show because he couldn’t hit the other guys because he liked them? I actually find that sort of sweet. Intensely incompatible with being a fighter but sweet.

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