Philip Rivers loves having sex with a pregnant woman

May 15, 2014

Right?

And that “pregnant woman” is his wife Tiffany. And, the two have been together since junior high school.

Awwwwwww… Right?

First off, HELLO!!!!

Before I talk about San Diego Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers and how I believe he’s had just as much sex with his one true love – Tiffany – while she’s pregnant as when she’s not pregnant, I was going to just say a few things…

1. Mixology – I thoroughly enjoyed that TV show. I’m sad it got cancelled already. The show was much funnier than the commercials ever made it out to be and I think it did a really good job getting an ensemble cast together and each one of them having their moment(s) to shine. I’m not happy about Suburgatory getting cancelled, but at least they got a few seasons.

2. Fargo – The show has been entertaining to say the least. I’m still not in love with Billy Bob Thornton in his role, but he’s not bad in it by any stretch of the imagination. I think he’s doing quite well in the role, but I would have never cast him in it. Everyone else on the show is spot on and Adam Goldberg’s hair on the show deserves an Emmy nomination.

3. Alaska – Danielle and I are leaving on a jet plane to Seattle today and we’ll get on a big boat tomorrow to begin our week long cruise. We’ve never been on a cruise, so we’re definitely nervous, but excited.

So, there’s that, right?

Now, let’s get back to talking about this man…

… having sex with a lady who is preggers!

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

To start, the dude has 7 kids.

SEVEN!!!! 7!!!!!

So…

1. I’m guessing he’s had almost just as much sex with his wife, Tiffany, while she’s pregnant as he has had with Tiffany when she’s not been pregnant.

2. I would FULLY guess the two have had sex more times when Tiffany is pregnant over the past 10 years than when she’s not pregnant. SEVEN KIDS!!!!

My trepidation with statement #1 is that Philip has been with Tiffany since they were in junior high. So, they have been together for approximately a fuck ton amount of years.

Generally speaking, I would think that having a girlfriend in junior high would mean that high school was a straight-up fuckfest for the two of them. Is everyone on board with that? I’m sure there are relationships that don’t have sex much for the entirety of their relationships, but this is a particular relationship that did produce SEVEN children eventually.

The number of times they had sex in junior high and high school will play a huge factor in the truth value of statement number 1.

It’s high school, you’re going through puberty and you’re so horny the stuff is practically coming out of your ears, right? And, in this case, you have a girlfriend or boyfriend depending on if your Philip or Tiffany in this scenario. So, you’ve got an experimental buddy that you can just bang and bang and bang because you’re young and in love. With that being said, they could have had sex ONE BILLION times over the 4 years in high school. That’s just an estimation.

But! He is quite religious. Quite.

I’m not saying that being religious would necessarily stop him from having pre-marital sex, but it has stopped some people out there or at least could limit how much of a fuckfest high school was. Right?

I’m not sure if Tiffany was religious in high school. Wikipedia says she converted to Catholic, so I’d guess that would have been for Philip and their marriage. Safe assumption, right? Anyway… he is religious.

So, maybe he didn’t do premarital sex or not much of it and, instead, exercised those sperm demons by devoting himself to football. He did get great at football. The motivation to get so good at football was because he wasn’t having sex and had to get rid of that energy in some way?

Honestly, I’m kind of leaning towards that high school wasn’t a fuckfest for Philip and Tiffany. The two of them got married right out of high school, which I feel like might be indicative of them “waiting” until marriage. It’s not like they got hitched when they were 27. Waiting until high school was over isn’t too too long to wait. I don’t know though. There’s a difference between waiting because no one wants to sleep with you and waiting while you have a girlfriend for like 5 years. Ergh. So, who knows?

From there, Philip was playing college ball until 2004 and has been playing in the pros ever since. And, they had their first kid while they were in college, so they got started on their army of infants pretty early. Just for the record, they have 5 daughters and 2 sons. Pretty great, right? Imagining wild Philip Rivers helping raise all these daughters. Like a starting line-up of WNBAers. Amazing.

Anyway… I’m just saying, I think Philip Rivers has had maybe more sex in total with a female partner who is pregnant than non-pregnant.

Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just interesting. It’s a lifestyle decision.

Personally, I’ve never had sex with a pregnant lady. I don’t know how different it is than having sex with a non-pregnant lady – which I have done that. I would guess it’s at least a mental difference. Like, you’re having sex and you have to not think about that there’s a kid rolling around in there. Is it a physical difference? I’m guessing that has much more to do with HOW pregnant is this willing woman. I’m sure having sex with a woman who is 3 months pregnant isn’t much different than a non-pregnant woman, but having sex with a woman who is 6 months pregnant would be different. Who knows? Not me, but a lot of people in the world would know that answer.

From the flipside, I guess that would naturally mean Tiffany has had more sex with Philip while pregnant than not pregnant – in my opinion. How is that different for her? I wouldn’t know that answer either.

Just something to think about.

I mean a lot of people are sitting around debating Michael Sam’s bedroom activities like he’s the only one who has an active sex life. Seriously, that’s not giving credit where credit is due. For all we know, Michael Sam could have the most boring gay sex on Earth. I guess that would be interesting to some extent, but you get my point. Meanwhile, Rivers over there in San Diego is creating his country of his offspring and he’s probably only had sex like 3x that hasn’t resulted in a pregnancy or wasn’t with his wife while she was already pregnant. That’s actually interesting.

Ok. So, yeah. Fidelity is great, pregnant women are attractive, and you can make assumptions about the sex life of any player in the National Football League with seemingly cursory details.

I love you,

Kay-Swidge-Izzle

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