RIP Meschach Taylor – One of my guys… and other things

June 30, 2014

HELLO!

Hello, readers!

I’d say, ‘Hello, non-readers!’, but they’ll never see this. And, if for some reason a non-reader is like, ‘Did you say, ‘Hello, non-readers!’ on Monday, June 30th?’ I’ll just punch them in their fucking non-reading eyes because fuck them and how dare they question me. Right? This is how you properly communicate with people, right? Saying hello to some and punching others in their eyes? RIGHT IN THEIR EYES!

Ok. This has gotten off to an odd start.

Remember Anthony Bouvier from DESIGNING WOMEN?

He’s the one in the middle who doesn’t look like Paula Dean’s even bitchier friend.

Or…

Do you remember Hollywood Montrose from MANNEQUIN and MANNEQUIN TWO: ON THE MOVE?

Sadly, both iconic characters are now dead because Meschach Taylor is dead. He died of cancer over the weekend.

I more than watched my fair share of Designing Women when I was younger and I certainly watched Mannequin as well as Mannequin Two when I was kid. I probably saw Mannequin enough times for whatever reason that I am partially responsible for the completely unnecessary Mannequin Two.

Isn’t it amazing that the only person from the featured line-up of the memorable Mannequin film that signed on for the sequel was Meschach Taylor? Sure, the best part of Mannequin was Hollywood’s hilarity, but why didn’t they just make a spinoff Mannequin movie then with Hollywood as the lead instead of simply REBOOTING the Mannequin series with another hot blonde white chick mannequin and another dime a dozen white guy lead that fall in love with randomly enough Meschach Taylor as this link to a world where hot blonde white chicks are all the time being turned into mannequins or into human beings from mannequins and immediately following in love with the first average looking, bank commercial face having, white guy? I don’t know. I don’t even know if that paragraph makes sense!

Anyway…

Meschach. Dead.

Let me tell you a story about Broadway and Meschach Taylor and me and my dad. Are you on the edge of your seat?!

As a given, my dad doesn’t really know me THAT well. I mean we’ve known each other our entire lives, I lived in my parents’ house for by far most of my life, and him and I have been in close contact for 31 years at this point. BUT! That doesn’t mean if he was posed with a multiple choice quiz about his only son that he would be able to get a passing grade. If it was fill-in-the-blank, he’d fail. Multiple choice? He would have a 50/50 shot at getting a 50 on the quiz.

Cut to: circa 1995.

I don’t remember exactly what year, but at the earliest it was ’95. Maybe ’96, maybe ’97. I’m in middle school and/or the beginning of high school.

My parents, my sister, and myself are out to dinner in New York City before we are going to a Broadway play. It could have been a number of plays, not sure which one, but that doesn’t matter.

We’re eating dinner at B. Smith’s. It’s a hip and fancy place run by, of course, B. Smith who The New York Daily News called “one of the most important African-American style mavens of all time.” Anyway, we’re there and we’re eating. When suddenly, my father says…

“Hey Jordan, there’s one of your guys.”

Hey Jordan, there’s one of your guys?

Let’s deconstruct this…

Hey – Your attention, now!

Jordan – Me

There’s – In this restaurant over yonder I have spotted

One of your guys – A select member of a personal stable that is of my very particular interest

Now, that we fully understand my father’s statement that was directed at his one and only son, me, let’s take a guess who the fuck he was talking about.

This blog is not meant for mystery. I’m not writing paranormal detective noir over here. Although, I believe I could. It could feature a man and his dog going out for walks around their suburban town where they uncover werewolves and undead hauntings and satanic cults!

But I digress…

Of course, my dear dad’s statement about “one of your guys” was referring to…

MESHACH FUCKING TAYLOR.

And he was right. That was indeed Meshach Taylor sitting on the other side of the restaurant eating dinner as well. And, in some strange way, I guess my dad is right that Meshach Taylor is one of MY guys because I did watch “Designing Women” with my mom and sister because I watched whatever TV was being watched and I did see Mannequin and Mannequin Two because HBO felt it necessary to play both constantly for much of the early 90’s for some reason or another.

My mom, my sister, and myself had quite a laugh at my dad’s expense. Not just that night, but still to this day. Although, he didn’t see the humor in it nor does he now.

Either way, RIP Meschach Taylor – you brought me laughs directly and indirectly.

Besides that…

Danielle and I were in the Broadway world the other day on Saturday as we saw ALL THE WAY starring Bryan Cranston.

We didn’t realize it at the time, but we saw the play on its second to last night I believe. Pretty random.

The play itself was incredibly acted. Cranston ate up the stage from beginning to end. I’m not sure how many actors could have demanded that much attention as well as oscillated between hero and villain the way he did for a nearly 3 hour play.

I know I haven’t been posting at all. I know that because I’m the one who thinks of posting, but then doesn’t.

What have I been up to?

Watching the World Cup and Orange is the New Black. That’s been the majority of it.

The World Cup has been phenomenally entertaining thus far. Removing any nationalistic loyalties or simply rooting behavior – the games have been fucking crazy fucking exciting. I remember the last two World Cups vividly and besides giving me an undying love for vuvuzelas – the last two World Cups pale in comparison to this one as a whole and from what I’ve read of the others and remember from 2002’s and so on… this is the best fucking World Cup.

Yesterday’s two matches were insane. Poor Mexico giving up the game with 2 goals in a matter of minutes right at the end of the fucking game – a game that they dictated the pace and were winning up until 3 minutes left. Then, Costa Rica who was winning the game and got fucked over with a player getting ejected, and they gave up the tying goal with almost 0 time left in the fucking game. The Ricans continue to fight and keep the game tied for all of overtime to then go on to win in the penalty kick shootout. IT WAS INTENSE.

As for Orange is the New Black…

TITS! Seriously, there were so many nipples this season it was as if I was directing Orange is the New Black. Uhhh, yeah, this is a good scene and all, but how about you just take your top off at some point regardless of context. Oh wait, is your character a lesbian? No one has said if you’re a lesbian or not? Well, then, guess who has just become a lesbian?! You! And show us your bare breasts now. Also, we’ve just hired the bustiest German girl you’ll ever meet for you to be lesbians with. Congrats!

Seriously!!!!! WHAT ABOUT THAT GERMAN CHICKS BOOBS!!!!!?????!!!!

I would imagine most people were hoping for a “P” Poussey Washington flashback and SURE AS SHIT THEY GOT ONE! WOOOOO!!!

If you haven’t watched this season yet or haven’t gotten to this episode… KEEP READING… these are not spoilers… these are YOU GOT TO SEE THIS EPISODE BECAUSE THIS GERMAN CHICK HAS SOME CANS ON HER-ers… like a teaser, but with nipples, so the best teaser ever.

Let’s just say that Poussey aka Samira Wiley gets naked. Apparently, under that baggy grey sweatshirt she’s always wearing is like a runway model naked body. Who knew?

Let’s just also say that the German chick they cast opposite of Samira Wiley… HAS THE BIGGEST SET OF NAKED BOOBS YOU’LL SEE ON NARRATIVE TELEVISION THIS SIDE OF TRUE DETECTIVE. What a great fucking year for boobs, right? We have Alexandra Daddario absolutely kill it by being naked on True Detective and then now this random German woman with huge boobs doing 80% of her screen time on Orange is the New Black topless and doing lesbian stuff. Just wonderful.

The rest of the season was solid.

So, that’s what has been going on for me. I’ve been eating a lot of kale too.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?

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One Response to “RIP Meschach Taylor – One of my guys… and other things”

  1. Susanelle said

    Well, I for one am glad that you keep posting… I’m not a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan at all but I’d be interested in the stories of a crime-solving team made up of you and Coco (especially if Coco turns out to be the Columbo of dogs! or the Dr. Watson! it could go either way, or many ways!).

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