More politics, sort of…

January 28, 2010

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Well apparently, I’m not as “swamped” as I thought I was. And I really liked that ending with Bryant Gumbel, but I did forget one thing I wanted to mention about politics from last night. So forgive me for the double posting. I know that throws off this one and done every day posting I had going for me. Minus the whole 60+ year old guys list, which sadly a member of that list, JD Salinger, died today, but he will forever live on the list.

On CNN prior to the speech, they had their usual battalion of pundits sitting at their roundtables. First, they all look like they are on top of each other sitting at those tables. They look so uncomfortable. Why? Because they are on top of each other! TV cameras make things appear farther apart than they are. If you want two people on camera then they need to be close. Those people look so close like they are on top of each other and, in reality, they are so close they are inside each other – not in a sexual way, more like an osmosis sharing of particles way or parallel universe way.

CNN tries to have a nice mixtures of right wing Republicans and left wing Democrats at the tables. The best example of this is married couple James Carville and Mary Matalin. They are an extremely odd couple because politically they are pretty extreme opposites. And people have always wondered how the two co-exist. It doesn’t seem possible. They are amazingly outspoken about their views and they’ve worked different sides of political rivalries. It isn’t that they are friends, but they are actually married! How nuts is that? So last night, I figured it out.

Yep. I figured it out. I figured out their marriage. I figured out how they fell in love, how they got married, and how they continue to stay together. The institution of marriage is failing all around this country between couples that one would think would work. Nick & Jessica broke up for Christ’s sake, but Carville and Matalin are still together. The light of their relationship’s truth is so bright and clear to me now it is almost blinding. I can’t believe no one has figured this out sooner. So here it is, their relationship works on two levels:

1. No one is more insane about politics than these two. They can find common ground on their passion for the politicos. It is a love for government and knowing about it and discussing it and reading about it day and night. They can sit for hours talking and reading and discussing and arguing every little fragment of political knowledge. Most people would give up. Most people would get frustrated. Most people would say “SHUT UP ABOUT FUCKING POLITICS FOR ONE MINUTE!” But they never reach that level. They can egg each other on forever. They get each other’s favorite passion. It is like the two most diehard baseball fans who root for opposing teams getting together. They understand their love of talking on-base percentages, hanging fastballs and off-season trades. Most people don’t. Regardless of your team, you both can share your love of the sport itself. A love of politics over a love of a party.

That is one half of the puzzle that makes their marriage work. The other half…

2. Hate fucking.

Yep. Picture it. In your head. Now. These two must hate fuck the shit out of each other. So much hate fucking. It must be sweaty and angry and loud and full of the most obscure political facts. Just imagine the two of them bound to each other in missionary position. James Carville gritting his teeth barking about healthcare reform, how stupid the Tea Party is and how the US economy would have collapsed without the bail out and how the Republicans should be on board considering it was something that W’s administration started. Then they switch and Matalin gets on top and rides him like a brand new Arabian show horse that needs to be broken to follow her instructions, meanwhile she rants and raves about the deficit, Obama spending his first year talking healthcare instead of jobs, and what’s going to happen in Iraq when the troops leave.

They just hate fuck each other until they love each other.

And I’m done.

Questions for tomorrow?

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