Now, shit is getting real. Tomorrow is a big day for United States soccer. As great as it was 48 hours ago for the US to beat Algeria in that stoppage time goal, which resulted in the US winning their group, it don’t me shit tomorrow. That’s right, son. It don’t me shit tomorrow. Because the “shit” that it doesn’t mean, that shit is now getting real. So, forget the shit that happened on Wednesday. Even though that shit was tight, it ain’t shit compared to the real shit that will be shitting on Saturday.

Not to belabor this shit, but this shit means all the shit tomorrow. Tomorrow’s shit is the only shit we need to focus on. I’m just saying after the great shit that happened on Wednesday like Landon Donovan scoring that shit and making the kiss gesture or some shit to his ex and now him and her maybe getting their shit together again – that’s all just some bullshit compared to this really real shit that is going down on Saturday. We need to step up in this shit. Stand knee deep in this shit. And get shit done.

Seriously, beat Ghana. Beat them the way God has already chosen to beat the continent of Africa year in and year out. Let’s win. GO! USA! GO!

I’m not sure if all or just part of the above soliloquy is from Billy Shakespeare’s Henry V , so just add quotes where necessary.

QUESTIONS!

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But then quickly thought: suck it up, buddy, cuz you’ve made tons of money and chattels from this…. right?

And by “tons of money and chattels” you mean JACKSHIT then sure, I have made tons of “money and chattels”.

Actually, I have earned a lot from writing this blog. I have earned the fake-marriage to a whole host of women that realistically I’ll never meet because they are real-married and they live God knows where in the world. This fake-marriage is also based on my ability to be hum0rous every week day morning while they are scouring the internet for the newest news about some vampire book/movie series that I have no intention of ever liking.

So, a lot of talking and no sex of any sort. Whooo! Perfect marriage! The only thing that could make this any better would be you all sending me your credit card bills.

Tiffany vs. Debbie Gibson

They seem fairly evenly matched. Only a one year age difference. Both are willing to pose naked for money. Both have music careers in which I can only remember one or two songs from and could do without for the rest of my life. That’s a little harsh, “I think we’re alone now” is a good song.

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What really separates the two? Debbie is from Brookyln and Tiffany is from Dearborn, Michigan. Seemingly, that should be in favor of Debbie being a scrapper. But Brooklyn has some wussy areas with all these hipsters and Michigan is becoming an increasingly rougher state with cities like Flint and Detroit sitting in the top 10 of highest murder rates.

Tiffany has bigger boobs. … … … ? I’m not sure if that is an advantage or disadvantage in a fight. They are usually an advantage in life, but a fist fight – I’m not so sure. My initial instinct would be to say they are a disadvantage. Mobility has to be a key issue. But there are two things that are keeping me from making that decision: 1. I love boobies so much that saying they are a negative in anyway is unfathomable to me. 2. Punching power comes from the ability to transfer your weight properly, so maybe the extra weight with boobs plus any centrifugal force achieved during the rotation of one’s waist to throw the punch which send the boobs whipping around as well….

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I blacked out. Sometimes that happens when I think about the breastesses too much. It is worth it though. Boy is it worth it.

If I had to choose a side, I feel like Debbie Gibson is more desperate and would be more inclined to cut a bitch.

I love soccer, not sure about this ball for the world cup though. Do you think it is good for the game?

I’m not sure if this question is SPAM or not, but I enjoy its thoughtfulness. Do I think it is good for the game? Me? Little ole’ me!?! I think all the squabbling about the ball at the beginning of the World Cup was just childish and it didn’t make too much sense. The players said it was too hard to score a goal with it because of how it moved around and goalkeepers said it was too hard to stop a goal from being scored because of its movements. To me, they cancel each other out.

At the same time, I have not used the ball. It could be difficult to use for all I know. Generally speaking, these guys are professionals and should be able to play soccer at a high level with any soccer ball put in front of them. I really do want to get one or rent it or steal one from an athletic store. I’m very curious what the big deal is with it.

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The Fifa officials must have their reasons for why they chose to use this ball over other soccer balls. I remember not that long ago the NBA instituted a new ball that had a better grip. It was a huge controversy because the NBA (David Stern) made the decision to use this new ball without consulting the players. The players resoundingly disliked the ball even though some were actually playing better with the ball. They ended up ditching the new ball and going back to the old ball a few months later. So who knows?

This answer wasn’t all that funny. Poop. Poooooooohhhhhhoooohohohohoooop

What do you think of the whole extreme body building phenomenon? For or against?

I’m for it. I’m for it in the sense people should be allowed to do it if they want. As mentioned many times on this blog, I am an enormous fan of Pumping Iron the movie. Without bodybuilding there would be no Pumping Iron or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Literally, the man would not exist at all if it was not bodybuilding. Arnold Schwarzenegger was immaculate conceived by the very nature of bodybuilding into a virgin Austrian wife to a former Nazi officer.

I was unsure how I was going to react to the bodybuilding in front of me. But it was wild. The whole experience was simply insane. As crazy as they look on TV, they look even crazier in person. They are just awe-inspiring. I have to give them credit that it is artistic. They are truly sculpting their bodies to look like something never before seen.

At the same time, they are a bunch of freaks and they’re mahogany…. so I still love it.

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As for the women, a surprising amount of them were very attractive. There were two competitions: bikini and fitness. The bikini chicks were all in great shape and muscular, but for the most part they were just a bunch of chicks who look amazing rocking bikinis. The fitness competition got a little dicey because they were all gladiator looking women. I wasn’t so into them.

I don’t sit around and watch bodybuilding on TV, but I’m fine with it.

What are they going to play when you take the stage at KSWI-Con?

I have a lot of ideas for this. Right now, I’m siding with “Honey Bee” by Tom Petty. Big dicking guitars, aggressive drums and I stroll out with microphone in hand singing, “C’mon now, give me some sugar. Give me some sugar, little honey bee.”

That or the theme song from Shaft.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

I have some site news. I will be going to Las Vegas this Wednesday. I will be gone ’til Tuesday. I’m not sure what my plan is for KSWI during those days. But if you would like to write a piece, maybe a short piece, maybe a gallery of yourself in a bikini et cetera for next week then send me emails.

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